


The Keep

by elfrootforapostates



Category: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Elam Mahariel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfrootforapostates/pseuds/elfrootforapostates





	The Keep

Elam found himself wondering if Voldrik’s men ever stopped working on the Keep. The rhythmic sound of hammer hitting stone had played its song well through the night, never ceasing even as dawn approached.

It had been months since the attack on the Keep, but the repairs and fortification continued on, much to the discomfort of Mistress Woolsey and her treasury purse.

Elam and Seneschal Garavel had been working to keep the cost of rebuilding out of the citizens hands. However, it had become increasingly apparent that if Amaranthine was to ever return to its former glory, they would have to raise taxes.

‘That will go over well.’ He thought, his stomach twisting into knots. The thought of having to deal with more nobles caused Elam to take a larger swig of the wine left in his glass, his face twisting in its bitterness. Elam missed the smoother draw of ale, but found wine to be far more portable.

Refilling his glass, he leaned back against the rough walls of the roof. Tonight would end up the same as so many others in the past months; sleep eluding him as unanswered questions tore at his heart.

“I thought I would find you up here. Still not sleeping?” Nathaniel’s voice startled Elam, causing his heart to race as a blush formed across his cheeks. Zevran would surely chide him for this; being caught unaware was not wise.

Zevran, the name only twisted his gut further.

“Some rogue I am, I did not even hear you approach.” Laughing to hide his pain and embarrassment, Elam took a sip from his glass. “Perhaps I am losing my skill.”

“Perhaps it is the wine.” Nathaniel muttered, pointing at the discarded bottle by Elam’s feet.

“Ah, good point.” Elam sighed, trying to avoid eye contact with Nathaniel, letting his unbound hair fall forward into his face as he refilled his glass.

The man was unnerving. They had developed a fast friendship after Nathaniel’s conscription, but one pointed stare through grey eyes had Elam sharing far too much.

Nathaniel bent to pick up the discarded bottle, finishing off what remained inside before speaking again, “You did not answer my question Elam, are you still not sleeping?”

“We have been in this place for over a year now, Nathaniel. It has been over a year since I had word from…since I had any notion of a future.” Elam gently pulled a tattered letter from his pocket, turning it over in his fingers. “I have spent so many nights trying to decide my own fate, to carve my own path but I find nothing.”

This was only partially true. Most nights Elam swore to leave with the dawn to track down his clan. He could forget this existence; forget the pain and the anger that was building. With every dawn, the glint of the golden ring on his finger forced him to remain.

“You lose sleep because you cannot see what lies ahead? No. There is something else; we have all seen it. I have watched as the smile on your face fades in these past months.”

Nathaniel moved towards the wall, taking the small letter from his hands as he settled near Elam.

“You might be surprised Nathaniel, it is that simple.” With the note in Nathaniel’s hands, Elam took to fidgeting with the gold ring that adorned his finger. “It has been nearly two years since he left, over a year since I heard word…how do I let go if he is not coming back? The sadness in my heart keeps building and if I do not stop it, I lose myself. I have allowed my memory of him to become a prison.”

Nathaniel unfolded the letter, careful to avoid ripping the worn creases, brittle from overuse, “Have you never thought about…”

“I have.” Elam interrupted, “I have thought about it every day. The more I wait, the more I fear he is…I asked Alistair to send some people to Antiva to look into it and they came up with nothing. It is as if he never existed at all.”

Silence hung in the air as neither man moved to speak. Elam worried that his confession had caused his friend discomfort. Elam did not often speak of Zevran with his new companions, save Nathaniel, and wondered if this was fair to expect such a burden of their friendship.

“You cannot go on like this. I have never dreamed to lecture you as King Alistair and Oghren do on the subject of Zevran…but if it is a future you wish, you have more available to you than you realize.” Nathaniel placed the note back into Elam’s hand, his fingers lingering before moving away.

“Nathaniel, Zevran is…” Elam’s voice was soft and full of regret as he looked up at the man standing next to him.

“Warden Commander!” Two armed guards ran into view, panting from the exertion of the stairs. Huffing, the smaller of the two spoke first, “The men have caught an intruder roaming the halls of the Keep! He is in custody now ser."

“They have him at the entry way of the Keep Ser. He did not even fight…just laughed and said the guards were exactly what he needed.” The second guard chimed in with a look so mystified, it nearly caused Elam to laugh aloud.

“Well then…’ Elam motioned the guards to the door, “Let us go see our new visitor, shall we.”

“Commander, we should be careful, the nobles…” Nathaniel whispered under his breath as he moved in beside Elam.

“Nathaniel, do not worry. The last intruder at the Keep proved to be invaluable, did he not?” Scowling at Elam, Nathaniel made his way after the guards. 

****

Elam listened as the guards retold the heroic tale of capture as they made their way through the Keep. In the few years outside of his clan, he was certain he had never met humans who talked this much, not even Alistair.

As they approached the group of guards, he motioned for onlookers to disband, giving instructions to one of the talkative guards to clear the room.

Looking up from his instructions, Elam caught a glimpse of blonde hair and bronzed skin that brought him to a full stop. Dropping the cup of wine from his shaking hand, he moved forward trying to come to terms with what…with who stood in front of him.

Anger welled from deep within. He had waited all this time, imagined rushing into strong arms that would make him feel warm again, but the carefree smile on the face he adored twisted his heart. He wanted to scream, to strike understanding in the man.

“Ah, my Warden, did you miss me? I have been…” Zevran’s smile faded into confusion as Elam silently drew near. 

Elam stood in front of Zevran internally warring with himself before he was able to speak. He had waited what seemed a lifetime to stand here, but he did not anticipate the anger that would come with it. He longed to touch the perfectly angled line of his jaw, to have any contact after so long, but held himself back.

Holding his voice steady, he stated the only words he cared to know.

“Do you intend on staying?” The direct question startled Zevran who searched Elam’s face for clues to this cold reception.

“I…what is going on?” Zevran stammered after a moment.

“It is a simple question. Do you plan on remaining here or not?” Elam was surprised as he heard his voice rise in the question, his anger betrayed in every gesture.

“No my Warden, Antiva awaits, I came…” Elam could hear the confusion bordering on anger in Zevran’s voice as he answered, but he refused to let him finish. Refused to be left waiting any longer.

“Then leave. You are not welcome here; grab your things and go.” Looking up to the guards behind Zevran, he motioned for them to stand down, “Go back to your business men, and thank you for your diligence in this matter.”

Elam turned to leave without making further eye contact with Zevran, pushing through Nathaniel and the waiting guards. He could feel a burning flush taking over his skin as tears threatened to fall in his retreat. He needed to get as far away as possible before the pain left him undone.

Passing past guards and house servants, Elam made his way into the Throne room. His escape thwarted as he heard Zevrans angered voice coming up behind him, “Warden!”

Elam slowed before forcing himself to keep moving. He feared giving in would lead to a lifetime of pain, a lifetime of waiting. All he ever wanted was Zevran, and given the chance, he would allow Zevran to talk him into anything. He must keep moving.

“Elam, stop!” The voice came, dark with anger just as a familiar dagger sank into the floor at Elam’s feet causing him to stop. The guards flanking the room immediately moved from their locations to surround Zevran.

Elam turned finally to face Zevran, the intense gaze from his eyes that did not waver, even as the guards moved on him with unsheathed swords. Zevran would not allow Elam to run away, but it only served to heighten Elam’s anger.

“Everyone out!” Elam shouted, motioning for a second time that night for the guards to stand down.

Nathaniel came running into the Throne room as the guards dallied in confusion. “Commander, are you alright?”

‘Nathaniel, get them out. I need to speak with Zevran.” Nathaniel made a noise, attempting to further protest as Elam continued, “Nathaniel. Now.”

Nathaniel looked to Zevran and nodded his consent, “I will be right outside the door if you need me Commander.”

Zevran stalked towards Elam, doing little to hide both his anger and confusion. “My Warden, what have I done to deserve such ire? You did not even let me answer the question you asked of me…”

“What have you done? Do you even realize how long you have been gone…how long I have waited?” His voice hitting a furious tone, Elam continued on, “You come back only to leave me waiting for you once again. Do you know, no…do you care what that has done to me? I will not do this. I have only ever wanted to be at your side, and it is clear that you do not feel the same!”

“Oh ho! So you know how I feel, do you? You do not let me speak at all.” The edge in his voice only matching Elams, “Do you believe I enjoyed leaving you all those months ago? I have been fighting for us, for a future free of the crows.”

“For… us! No! If that were true, you would have stayed here! Not let me think you were dead…or, or that you did not want me at all.” Elam hung his head as his anger subsided. His true fears lay bare; he retreated to one of the columns lining the hall.

Zevran rubbed his hands through his hair and sighed, “This is not quite how I expected our reunion to play out, my Warden.”

Elam looked up to see Zevran slowly moving towards him. He could feel Zevran’s eyes taking stock of every new line on his face down to the new scar that wound its way down his neck. Trying to read Elam through the emotions, he was never able to hide.

“Neither had I, Zevran. I am sorry for how I acted; please tell me what you were going to say…before I told you…Oh Zevran, I am sorry.” Elam could not hide the slight quiver in his voice.

Taking it as a signal to approach, Zevran stepped in front of Elam, his hands weaving through his unbound locks of slate hair, taking hold on either side of Elam’s face.

“What I was to say my Warden was that Antiva awaits us both. I do not plan to leave Ferelden without you by my side…” pressing a small kiss on Elam’s lips, Zevran continued, “I…it was torture being parted from you and I do not plan on letting that happen again.”

“But where have you been? I needed you, needed to know you were still out there and I received nothing. What was I to think?” Elam whispered, leaning into Zevran’s touch.

“I do not have a good answer to that, Elam. In time, I can tell you of my adventures and what caused me to remain silent…but right now, all I want to know is if you can forgive me, if you still want me.”

“Want you? Zevran, I ….” Elam trailed off, his eyes casting down to avoid spilling the words he had always been so careful to contain.  
Zevran grabbed Elam’s face, directing his gaze back at him. “What my Warden? Say it.”

“I cannot Zevran, I have always been so careful. I have always been so certain that the word would drive you away, even now. You can’t…” Zevran’s kiss instantly silenced Elam’s voice. Lips he had long forgotten the taste of devoured his.

Pulling away, his lips still brushing against Elam’s, Zevran whispered, “My Warden…my love. Say it.”

The soft, whispered words set him on fire. Elam covered Zevran’s mouth with his own, greedily sucking and nipping at his lips and jaw while his hands worked furiously at the buckles of his armor. All of the anger and pain Elam had been holding subsided as he fought to recommit every inch of Zevran’s body to memory.

Sinking to the floor, Zevran pulled at Elam’s tunic, throwing it aside before his lips recommenced their exploration of his neck. Pushing Zevran onto his back, Elam leaned back to take stock of the man lying beneath him.

“Zevran, I do have my own quarters, perhaps we should…” Elam motioned his head toward the door as Zevran worked at the ties of trousers.

“Yes, in fact you have an entire Keep if I am not mistaken and I plan on having you in every room before we take our leave, my warden?”

Smirking, Zevran grabbed Elam’s arm, causing him to fall forward to pull him into a deep kiss.

Breaking away, Elam’s teeth grazed Zevran’s jaw before lingering on his ear, “Zevran?”

“Hmm?” Zevran answered, mirroring Elam’s previous actions.

Elam moaned lightly, smiling in the action. It was far time to let it all go; he had a future, a future that was presently doing wonderfully amazing things to his ear. “I love you.”


End file.
